How to Turn Self-Love into Power Couple Goals

Hi lovelies,

Let’s face it, you can’t talk about romantic love without first talking about self-love, and I say this from my own personal experience. I started my journey to self-love and self-discovery after a string of intermittent and non-committal relationships with men that weren’t in a place to be a true partner to me. But from these experiences I was able to glean life lessons that have led me to live a fuller and more joyful life. They also led me into being in a healthy, loving, happy, secure, and grounded relationship with a wonderful man. It is my hope that these insights do the same for you. 

But let’s start from the beginning. Here I was, an accomplished entrepreneur who founded her own media company, a published author with three books under her belt, an international podcast host, a Georgetown Alumnae, and a financially secure woman, that was choosing to date men that were either emotionally unavailable or financially unstable, and oftentimes both. 

The turning point for me was when the guy that I was dating at the time called me ‘selfish and self-centered’ because I was proud of my accomplishments and was sharing my future professional goals with him. Mind you, he didn’t have a steady job, his own car, or his own place to stay, but yet he had the audacity to belittle and dismiss me for my career achievements. It was gaslighting at its finest. 

Something in me snapped and I decided at that point that I had enough of not being loved, valued, appreciated, and respected in my relationships. I decided that I was done with being emotionally abused. I knew that I had to do things differently in order to find the love that I truly deserved. 

So this time around, instead of looking at the men and shaking my finger at everything that was wrong with them, I took that same finger and pointed at myself to see why I was choosing men that were like them. I had to get brutally honest with myself and look inward instead of placing the blame outward. 

I had to look in the mirror and ask, “What do I need to work on and heal within myself in order to attract a man that not only truly loves me, but was also truly worthy of my love?” The truth was, I didn’t know. So I set out on a personal journey of self-discovery to find out and below are the key steps that I took on my road to self-love.

5 Steps to Self-Love and Power Couple Goals

#1. I went to therapy
Although I love my friends and family, I knew that I needed an objective and professional person in my life that could guide me in my journey to self-love and self-discovery. I found a therapist that I trusted and started going weekly to unpack not only my current state-of-being, but also my childhood and past experiences that shaped the way I see and move within the world. 

I had to tap into my own subconscious beliefs and patterns that were dictating my life choices and that were ultimately sabotaging my love life. It wasn’t always easy or pretty. In fact, it was painful, hard, and challenging to really dig deep into myself and my past to see what was driving me on the soul-level. 

I can’t promise you that there won’t be times when you want to quit, but I can promise you it will be worth it because on the other side of the grit and the fear, is true freedom. The freedom to love yourself for exactly who you are and the freedom to make conscious choices about what you do and do not tolerate in your life because you know and believe that you are enough. 

Power Couple Goal: Seek support and counseling before you need it and when you need it. Going to therapy when things are in a good place is a great way to strengthen your relationship so you have the tools to deal with fights, arguments, disagreements, and problems in a healthy way rather than having things escalate to a negative space and then trying to go back and pick-up the pieces. 

But with that being said, it’s never too late to seek support. So if things aren’t in a healthy place in your relationship, there is no shame in going to couples counseling to get an outside and professional opinion on how to heal and grow your relationship. 

#2: I committed to the process
I took a step back from dating and chose to focus on myself in order to fully commit to the process of working on me. To do this, I had to work on my own self-awareness and fully commit to looking at myself in a realistic and authentic way. The key to seeing my own limitations, my own areas of improvement, my own weaknesses, and my own short-comings, in a way that was healing and not condemning, was to simultaneously hold space for self-love, self-compassion, and self-understanding without judgment.

I would speak to myself in a kind and loving way. I would cut myself some slack and not judge myself. I had to learn how to fully embrace and radically accept all of me and allow myself the grace to make mistakes, to be a work-in-progress, and to not have to be perfect. Being both the shadow and light didn’t mean that I wasn’t worthy of love. It didn’t mean that I was broken, damaged, or flawed. It didn’t mean that I was lacking. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t enough. It simply meant that I was human. 

Power Couple Goal: Commit to each other and commit to the relationship through both thick and thin. Shift your perspective from, “Are we going to get through this?” to “How are we going to get through this?” When you really commit to making the relationship work, your mindset needs to change to knowing that things aren’t going to be perfect and roses all of the time, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t strong enough to weather the storm. There will be inevitable down and hard times but your equal commitment to being a team and facing any and all obstacles together will sustain your relationship during the tough times.

Also, hold the space for love, compassion, and understanding for your partner. Nobody’s perfect and we all fall short, make mistakes, and have things that we need to work on. Speak to your partner in a kind and loving way and ask the same from your partner. Committing to your relationship is the fundamental decision that will make your relationship stronger after the hard times. 

#3: I took ownership 
I previously mentioned that I took that finger of blame and pointed it at myself, but I want to be clear that it’s not about blaming anyone or about who’s wrong or right, it’s about taking back your power by being accountable and responsible for your own life. As long as I was blaming the ‘no good’ men in my life, I had no power to allow real love into my life because it meant that someone outside of myself was responsible for my happiness and ultimately, my self-worth. 

The moment I took ownership for the choices that I chose to make and what was going on in my life, I felt empowered. I felt in control and left any feeling of victim-hood behind. I forgave myself for any past choices that I made that didn’t serve my highest good. I did the best I could for where I was at in that particular moment and what I needed was self-compassion not self-condemnation. Taking ownership for who you are is the single most powerful thing you can do for your life. It frees you to choose differently and to truly get what you want and deserve in this world. 

Power Couple Goal:
Take ownership for your 50% in the relationship. When things are going well, acknowledge and appreciate yourself for showing up fully and in a positive way for yourself and your partner. Also, acknowledge and appreciate your partner during the good times. Let them know how much you love them when things are going well and not just when you’re trying to get them back on your side after a fight or disagreement. Cultivate your relationship during the good times to build a stronger foundation for the long-term.  

Additionally, take ownership for your part when things aren’t going well. It takes two to tango, so taking responsibility for your part when things are tough is equally as important as holding your partner accountable for their role as well. Admitting your part is a powerful way to gain trust and security with your partner because they know that gives them permission to do the same. They can be honest about their own short-comings without the fear of abandonment because you’re being strong enough to be honest about yours. 

#4: I dated myself 
I’ve been single throughout my life, but just because I was single, that didn’t mean that I was honoring being with myself. I had to choose to date myself in an authentic way in order to discover who I was at my core. I had to discover what my likes were, what my dislikes were, what my needs were, what my wants were, what my passions were, what my pet peeves were, and what my desires were. I basically had to start from scratch and really get to know myself. 

I had to get in tune with my body, mind, spirit, and intuition in order to know myself fully. It was from this place of knowingness that I was able to give myself permission to fully love, accept, and see myself for all that I am. It was through this process that I finally understood unconditional love. It allowed me to love myself intrinsically, for just being who I am, that was enough.  

Power Couple Goal:
Never stop dating each other. Never stop striving to know each other at deeper and more meaningful levels. Carve out time during the week to spend time together and to go out on dates. Keep the romantic spark alive by checking in with your partner to make sure that their needs are being met and be vocal about what you need to feel loved and desired too. Don’t allow yourself or your partner to get complacent in the relationship. Commit to each other to make putting in the effort to keep the relationship fresh, exciting, and new. 

Just like the journey to self-discovery is lifelong and on-going, the same goes for your relationship. The beauty of a healthy relationship is that everyday you get to discover new things about your partner to love and you get to reveal new things about yourself for your partner to love. 

#5: I implemented a self-care routine 
On my journey to self-love and self-discovery, the biggest lifestyle change I had to make was to have a tangible self-care routine in place. I had to learn how to self-soothe during emotionally difficult times and how to create a lifestyle of honoring the unique space that I take up in the world in order to create a life of peace, love, and acceptance. I started meditating, journaling, taking walks in nature, listening to positive podcasts, seeking support from friends and family, and learning how to not take things personally. 

This also meant creating healthy boundaries with friends, family, and co-workers. It meant taking time just for myself and doing what I needed to do to be healthy and whole. It meant not being afraid of having standards and communicating my wants and needs with others. It meant having my ‘no’ be a ‘no’ and my ‘yes’ by a ‘yes.’ It meant working on healthy and effective communication skills. It meant surrendering to a lifelong process of choosing to fall in love with myself everyday and to make my own well-being my first and best priority. 

Power Couple Goal: 
Have a self-care routine in place for your relationship. This means creating the space to have healthy and constructive conversations with each other instead of fighting to be right, asking for space and time instead of ignoring and ghosting each other, doing fun activities together that bring you closer, and making the time to do things without each other so you’re still cultivating yourself as a healthy and fulfilled individual.

Adult Bullies Do Exist: Here’s How Not to Be One

Hi lovelies,

It was your typical Tuesday in the life of an influencer. I was sitting at a fancy blogger brunch, surrounded by the familiar faces of my writer, editor, and blogger friends and acquaintances. As we pushed around the food on our plates and sipped on Rosé, I noticed the mumblings of a conversation between, Nina* and Jane*. 

Nina, “Yeah, the Kardashian’s made curves cool, but that trend is so over.” She then turns, laughs, points to me and says, “Haha, I mean, Candy has the biggest ass here!” My mouth went dry when the meaning of what she said had sunk in. Was she making fun of my body? Was she low-key calling me fat? Was she trying to make the others girl laugh at my expense? Was she exerting her position as the Alpha at the table? Is this was body-shaming felt like? It was clear that the answer was, ‘Yes to all of the above.’

I suppose she had expected the rest of the table to erupt into laughter with her, but when her mean-spirited dig was met with silence, she responded, “Oh, I mean, I wish my butt was bigger!” This back-handed follow-up comment really solidified her mean girl status. 

My friend Eva* looked at me and mouthed, “Are you okay?” I nodded that I was but that was a lie. Even though the other girls didn’t join in on making fun of my shape, I felt a hot wave of shame wash all over my body. I bit my lower lip in an effort to stifle the tears that were threatening to break free from my eyes. 

Here I was, an accomplished content creator surrounded by my industry peers at a professional event being reduced to feeling like a 12 year old girl in the cafeteria lunchroom that no one wanted to sit with. Weren’t we as adults, and especially as women, supposed to be evolved enough to not take pleasure in inflicting emotional and physical pain on others? Weren’t we supposed to know that bringing someone else down doesn’t bring ourselves up? Apparently not. 

When I got back home after the brunch, I started to think about the roots of adult bullying and what was causing another accomplished woman to feel the need to belittle another accomplished woman in the presence of others. But more importantly, I thought of tangible ways to ensure that I never became like her. That I never projected my own pain, hurt, and insecurities onto other people as a way to temporarily elevate my own feeling of being less than. After all, ‘hurt people, hurt people.’ 

So in an effort to repurpose the pain, shame, and embarrassment that I felt that day, I’ve pulled together a few key insights on how not to become an adult bully. 

Identify your own triggers and get some perspective

Getting clear on who you are and what makes you tick is imperative to harnessing your true strength and inner peace. When you’re able to be self-aware enough to know what areas in your life you still need to heal, then you’re able to identify when those triggers are being activated and address them with grace, love, and compassion, rather than lashing out at the nearest target. 

Usually people bully other people because something about that person or experience triggers a pre-existing insecurity or wound within that person. Until we are able to heal our own wounds, we’ll keep wounding others. Actively working on your own self-awareness can be scary, tough, and at-times exhausting, but healing your wounds and taking back your power to choose differently when triggered is the work that we must do in order to become whole, healed, and healthy human beings. 

Key Exercise: Mindfully notice when you feel shame, embarrassment, anger, resentment, and any negative feelings. Then journal about what was said, what happened, and what memories were brought up from past trauma that triggered those same emotions. Getting clear on the correlations between past trauma and present triggers will help you mature and grow emotionally. This way, you’re able to check yourself and moderate yourself, rather than project your own pain onto others.

Practice gratitude 

I know, I know. Gratitude has been a wellness buzzword for the past few years, but there’s a reason for that. When you are full of gratitude for what you have and for what is on its way to you, you cannot simultaneously hold space for jealousy, envy, or feeling less than, which is another root cause of bullying. 

We tend to want to tear other people down because we feel that there isn’t enough love, praise, money, attention, friendship, or whatever, to go around, so we want to make sure that we get it which means someone else has to go without. The feeling of scarcity or the feeling of being less than is a root cause of this faulty mentality which leads to the destructive behavior that manifests itself as bullying.

Getting clear on the fact that who you are is enough, that you have intrinsic value and meaning, is the first step to healing the faulty mentality that you have to compete with others for love, attention, affection, friendship, and success. It’s the first step to focusing on our own life in a healthy way so that you no longer feel the need to bring others down in a false attempt to elevate your own ego.

Key Exercise: Forget about having ‘an attitude of gratitude’ actually practice and implement a lifestyle of gratitude into your daily routine. This means going beyond keeping a gratitude journal, but to changing the way you think, speak, and act both to yourself and others through the lens of gratitude. 

See below for a few tangible examples:

Old way: “I’m sorry I was late, I’m always running behind.”

Gratitude way: “Thank you for waiting for me.”

Old way: “I never have enough time to stop and fully take in what’s going on around me.”

Gratitude way: “I always have enough time. I’m thankful for all of the abundance around me, from the trees, the birds, the sun, and everything else in -between.”

Old way: “There’s only room for one person like me in my workplace/friendship group/etc.”

Gratitude way: “I’m thankful for surrounding myself with people who accept and include me as I am and I love doing the same for others.”

Old way: “Nothing ever works out for me. I have such terrible luck.”

Gratitude way: “Everything is always working out for me. All that comes to pass is for my greatest good. I consciously create my own luck.” 

Old way: “Who does she think she is? I’ll show her!”

Gratitude way: “I love seeing other women own their power in a clear and confident way. I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn from her and do the same.”

It is my sincere hope that you found value in my story and in my insights. If so, please comment and share. 

*Names changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty. 

Swisse Australian Multivitamin Ultiboost Jelly Sticks Make US Debut

Hi lovelies,

I’m still on a natural high from a day full of wellness with Swisse Multivitamin! We enjoyed an invigorating workout with  celebrity trainer Luke Milton where we worked out our bodies through intentional movement.

Then we enjoyed a nourishing lunch followed by a nutrition panel with international model and yogi Ashley Hart, registered dietician Erin Palinski-Wade, and celebrity trainer Luke Milton. One of my favorite experiences was the guided meditation where we focused on our breathing and being comfortable in stillness.

We also got to enjoy the Swisse Australian Multivitamin Ultiboost Jelly Sticks in Beauty, Focus, and Immune. The jelly sticks are perfect for a boost while on-the-go and even when traveling. The flavored jelly sticks taste great and for more info on the jelly sticks, read below:

Swisse Ultiboost Jelly Sticks: Beauty Boost

• Get the support you want, when you need it

• Helps support healthy, radiant skin

• Contains collagen, goji Berry Extract, Manuka honey, and Aloe Vera

• Raspberry Rose flavor

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Swisse Ultiboost Jelly Sticks: Focus Boost

• Jellies are a fun and convenient way to get the support you want, when you need it. Just tear off the top and enjoy!

• Helps support memory recall, concentration and focus

• Contains cera-q, Yerba Mate & Green Tea extract

• Blueberry Cherry flavor

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Bad Habits You Can Break Today

Hi lovelies,

We’re all guilty of some bad habits - we’re only human after all. But when your energy levels are starting to suffer and your health isn’t what it should be, that’s when you know it’s time to make some important changes.

Breaking bad habits can take time, and it isn’t always easy. But if you’re willing to make some positive changes, you can get your health back on track and feel more energized and youthful than ever before.

Want to know more? Here are some bad habits you can break today.

Photo by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

Always eating on the move

A hectic work and social life can mean that you tend to eat on the go, a lot. From a take-out lunch to constant snacking, you’re not doing your body or waistline any good by always eating out. If time is short, then some quick and healthy recipes you can turn to in a hurry are always good for helping you maintain a balanced diet. 

Staying up too late

Do you tend to burn the candle at both ends? All of those late nights will soon catch up with you. It’ll show in your eyes, your skin and your overall mood. Sleep is more important than you might realize, and by making an effort to go to bed earlier, you can help yourself restore your energy. If something’s stopping you from getting your eight hours a night, like work or going out too much, then it’s time to start saying no and making some important decisions for your health.

Things that are causing serious damage to your health

While some bad habits won’t have a serious effect in the short-term, there are others that can cause long-lasting damage. Drinking too much and smoking are two of the worst things you can do for your health, but they’re also some of the hardest to stop. Getting a Juul Starter Kit could be a good way to help you give up smoking cigarettes, while drinking less will also make a difference to your overall health. Remember that your doctor can advise you on some of the best ways to quit to help you benefit your future health.

Not moving enough

Exercise is incredibly important for maintaining your health. It helps to keep your heart and lungs strong, while also making sure you keep your weight within a healthy range. 30 minutes a day is all it takes, so take a look at some of the ways you can fit half an hour of exercise into your day. Your mood will improve, as will your energy levels, to help you live life to the fullest.

Breaking bad habits takes time, but some say you could form a new habit in as little as 30 days. Make some positive changes to your lifestyle to help you put your health first and give your future self the best chance at a long and healthy life. You control your own destiny, so start breaking those bad habits now.

*This is a collaborative post.

8 Ways To Take Better Care Of Older Relatives

Hi lovelies,

Older relatives play a huge role in shaping our lives. From moms and dads to aunts, uncles, and grandparents, they work themselves hard to provide a great start in life and even better future. As you grow older, you tend to see a reversal in the roles you once held. After being taken care of your entire life, it’s difficult to realize that those older than you now need your help. Becoming a caregiver in any sense of the word is tough. It’s an often upsetting, exhausting, and stressful responsibility. To take better care of your older relatives, here are seven things that you must do. 

1. Learn More About Caring
To effectively care for your loved one, you must have a clear picture of their everyday needs. Looking after a senior is nothing like looking after yourself or a child. There are many health conditions that those later in life typically suffer from. You can only provide the right help and support if you learn more about these issues, especially when they affect your relative. Researching these conditions can be upsetting, but it will help you to prepare for what’s to come.

2. Make Changes At Home
Although your relative needs extra support, they might not necessarily have to move out of their home. Most seniors want to hold onto their independence for as long as possible, so, while it is safe, you should allow them to do so. That being said, you will have to check that their house is equipped for their needs. Safety features, like handrails and medical alert systems, might need to be added, and you will have to remove as many trip hazards from the house as you can. 

3. Find The Right Support
The older your relative gets, the more help they will need. Depending on your circumstances, you might not have the time to take care of them like they need to be. When you both start to struggle, it will help to seek out professional support. There are plenty of options to consider, from live-in home care to nursing homes. Make sure that your relative gets a say in the support that you choose. If there are other loved ones to lend a hand, you can ask for their help too. 

4. Look For Warning Signs
Asking a stranger to help care for your loved one isn’t easy, regardless of their qualifications and recommendations. What makes this worse is hearing all of the stories about nursing homes and carers that abused their patients. If this were ever to happen to your relative, you could contact a personal injury attorney about seeking compensation. For this reason, and the welfare of your relative, you should look out for warning signs that the professional you hired isn’t doing their job. 

5. Attend Important Health Checks
Annual health checkups are crucial at any point in life but are especially important for seniors. After all, you become more at risk to a number of different conditions as you grow older. The trouble is, many older people avoid these checks whenever they can. If you suspect that your relative is doing this, then you will have to step in. Rather than expecting your loved one to go alone, you should ask when their appointments are and tag along with them. 

6. Fight Against Social Isolation
Isolation isn’t always thought of as a serious issue for seniors. When there are so many life-threatening illnesses to look out for, loneliness isn’t a primary concern. However, studies have shown that loneliness can have a devastating effect on physical health, as well as mental health. Because of this, you must encourage your relative to be more socially active. As well as increasing your own time with them, you could suggest joining a club or visiting friends. 

7. Take Care Of Yourself
When taking care of a loved one, putting their needs above your own can easily become second-nature. The problem with this is that, if you don’t look after yourself, you won’t be able to look after anyone else, even your relative. You need to make time for exercise, three healthy meals a day, and plenty of rest. It can also help to join a support group for people in your situation. By talking about your struggles, you’ll find it much easier to overcome them. 

8. Be Mindful of Getting Quality Sleep

We’ve explored many ways to care of your of your older relatives while also taking care of yourself, but we can’t forget about the importance of the quality and the duration of sleep in preventing premature death and elevating your overall health. Sleep is a precious time during which our mind and bodies heals, rejuvenates, and repairs itself.

Taking care of an older relative can definitely be difficult, both for you and the relative themselves. However, with the advice above, you’ll both find it much easier to adjust to your new roles.

*Image for collaborative post From Pixabay

Looking For Health Warning Signs In Your Older Relatives

Hi lovelies,

It can often be worrying to consider that our close ones and relatives are also potentially subject to health ills. Of course, we would rather shoulder than burden ourselves, but we have no choice in the matter. All we can do is care for them, look out for warning signs should behavior change, and also divert them to the best help if needed.

This can be important when caring for an elderly relative, whether they live with you, by themselves, or in a care home. While your relative is likely in good care from their healthcare providers or care facility employees, you know them most intimately, and that means you can likely be a great help.

Looking for the warning signs of health issues can be a subtle art, but it can be important. Knowing certain illnesses well, or researching terms such as ‘what is alzheimers?’ you can come across a range of excellent guides and explanations - and thankfully, tips to care for them well.

Let us see how else you might find these warning signs:

Changed Behavior
Changed behavior can often be the most easy-to-spot symptom. For example, it might be that they are continually forgetful about conversations you might have had. They might repeat certain things they say to you, or have trouble with their sentence structure. It might be that when calling on them, they had forgotten you had arranged the visit. A range of small little differences like this can often be easy to pick up. Unfortunately, sometimes events can be quite worrying. They may become frustrated when shopping for groceries, or have a hard time booking a taxi as they usually did. All of these things can require your help and the opinion of a medical professional, so be sure to look out for changed behavior.

Odd Habits
Of course, elderly relatives have more time on their hands, but by that age many of them are set in their ways to some extent. This means that if they start going on longer and longer walks that seem to be completely out of character, they sleep for most of the day, or there’s something else worrying you, talking to them about their renewed habits can be a worthwhile effort. Of course, most of the time a change could be healthy, but some times, the times you need to focus on, they might not be. Be sure to keep actively involved with the life of your relative to understand how and why this happens.

Physical Changes
It could be that itchy, red skin, or perhaps hair loss, or perhaps a range of other issues can be quite noticeable. Talking to them about visiting a medical professional for an expert opinion can be worthwhile. Don’t just chalk something up to old age, such as a slower walk, worse posture, or other issues. Most of the time it will be natural, but keeping that possibility open allows you to be attentive if there is an issue.

With these efforts, you’re sure to help your relative through the health symptoms that they might be experiencing.

Photo credit for collaborative post: Pexels

Simple Steps To Make a Positive Change in Your Life

Hi lovelies,

It is natural to feel like someone who is a little resist change. Of things are going fine, then it can be a hard choice to change things up a little. Even if they could potentially mean greater happiness or productivity in life, it can be hard to take that leap. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be the case at all. Change is something that is actually good for us, with both our personal and professional lives. Change can help to make us more flexible, which can be good for things in life later down the line, and it can expose us to trying new experiences and meeting new people. That in turn can help to open up the doors to experiencing more opportunities and more of what life has to offer. However, if you want to make some changes in your life, then you will want to do so in a positive way. So here are some things to be thinking about. 

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Remove negativity from your life

Removing negativity from your life can sound much more simple to say that to actually do, right? But the thing is, if you are surrounded by negativity, then how can you think that you’ll be able to have a life that is happy, joyful and positive? In fact, it has been shown that people who are surrounded by negativity are more stressed, get sick more often, and generally have less opportunities come their way than their positive counterparts. So start step by step. Think about changing your mindset, and then look at other things in your life, or situations, that need to change.

Change the things you can change
It can be frustrating in life when you are trying to achieve certain goals but they can seem a little slow. For example, if you’re trying to get on the property ladder, then saving for a deposit can seem like an uphill journey. But the things that you can change are how much you spend each month, and perhaps even your job. If you are on a mission to be healthier or lose some weight, for instance, then the things you can change are things like changing your appearance, like trying a new haircut or color, perhaps. You could even look to get something like a tattoo or piercing; just make sure that you are informed and look up information about nipple piercings, for instance, so that you’re prepared. But changing some of the things that you can change can make you feel more motivated to get on with the end goal that you have. 

Exercise often
It can be hard to keep hearing things that tell you that you need to exercise more, but if you want to lead a happy and healthy life, then exercising can be great in many ways, for both your physical and mental health. Exercise can change your mindset, and the benefits of exercise are immeasurable. It will help you with drive, passion, and teach you some discipline. When you move more, you will feel happier about yourself, and that can lead to a reduction in anxiety, as well as stress levels.

15 Fabulous Ways to Refresh Your Mind and Soothe Your Soul

Hi lovelies,

Feeling stressed and overwhelmed is something you have become quite accustomed to over the years. You realize that you shouldn’t have to suffer on a regular basis, but nothing seems to be working for you. When it comes to refreshing your mind and soothing your soul, there are so many different techniques you can try. Whether you’re trying to enhance your workout or improve your diet, every small change can contribute considerable amounts. There could be many reasons why you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you shouldn’t have to suffer any longer. Of course you are going to have worries and stresses in your life, but they should never inhibit you from doing what you really love. If you have yet to find a calming and stress relieving technique that works for you, try some of the following fabulous methods right now.

1. Hydrate! 
You might be surprised to hear that the amount of water in your body can have a direct affect on your mood. If you aren’t drinking enough you will feel slow, sluggish and unmotivated for most of the day. With Berkey water filter systems you can be sure that you are getting your recommended water intake; the water will also be fresh and clean. If you aren’t a fan of plain water then why not spruce it up with some fresh fruit or cordial? Up your water intake to eight or ten glasses a day, and see if your mood improves.

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2. Eat Well
As well as water, food can have a huge impact on your stress levels and emotions. If you find yourself binging on high sugar snacks you are likely to experience an unwanted crash right afterwards. Keep your blood sugar steady with slow releasing carbohydrates and whole grain foods. If you get the urge for something sweet grab a green apple and dip it into a dollop of peanut butter. Switching up your diet will work wonders for your mind and body, so why not try it out today?

3. Move Your Body
When you exercise on a regular basis, your body gives off happy hormones called endorphins. These hormones release a positive surge throughout your mind and body, which can help to relieve symptoms of anxiety. Taking on gentle movement each day will help you to overcome your stress and feel calm again.

4. Rethink Your Career 
Your job is such a huge part of your life, so why be unhappy in it? Your career can take a huge turn for the better if you have the guts to admit that you’re unhappy. There is no point in dragging yourself into the office daily when it has such as negative impact on your emotions. Rethink your career and you will soon see a huge improvement in your mental health.

5. Reconnect With Family
When you are having issues with your family it can have a huge knock on effect to you mood. Your family are a fundamental part of your life so you need to remain well connected with them as much as possible. Don’t take your loved ones for granted as you never know when they might not be there. Take the time to call or text them whenever you get a moment and you will soon feel a sense of relief.

6. Assess Your Relationship
If you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, you are never going to get your mental health on track. It can be very easy to feel trapped with someone you have spent a long time with, but you can’t allow this to impact your happiness. If you’re unhappy in a relationship you shouldn’t be afraid to walk away and seek better things for yourself.

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7. Put More Effort Into Your Friendships
Your friends are going to be there for you through thick and thin, so you need to value every aspect of your friendships. There are many ways in which you can be a better friend, such as checking up on them when they are poorly or dropping them a text to let you know how much you love them. As soon as you put more into your friendships you will start to get a lot more out of them. 

8. Meditate
Taking some time away from your hectic life to meditate can help you to feel completely calm and relaxed. Use an app to tune out from the world and focus on your breathing for a short amount of time every single day. Meditation is proven to be a healer for anyone suffering from mental health problems or ongoing stress, so why not give it a try?

One obstacle for many people trying to learn how to meditate is that it can be tough to let go of the past and stay in the present moment. As such, it is a good idea to try and find an easy method to let go of the past, as this is going to encourage you to be more mindful of the present moment.

9. Lose Your Screens
Getting lost in your phone, laptop or tablet screen is becoming all too common these days. People are forgetting to embrace their real lives and they watch the world go by through a screen instead. Try to take some time away from your screen whenever possible; this will help you to really appreciate the wonderful opportunities around you.

10. Submit to Self Care
We sometimes fall victim to stress because we forget to take care of ourselves. Perhaps you’re busy caring for a family member and you don’t have the time to do things for yourself anymore. This won’t help you to feel refreshed and relaxed so it’s time to submit to self care. Whether you take ten minutes to read your favourite book or you go for a short walk in the fresh air, these small acts of self care will work wonders for your mental health

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11. Practice Gratitude
When you’re stressed out it is very easy to forget about all the amazing things you have going on in your life. Practicing gratitude will go a long way if you are trying to make a difference to your day to day emotions. Nobody else can carry out this technique for you, so it needs to come from within. Write down two or three things every single morning that you are grateful for and your mood will soon be turned from negative to positive.

12. Reduce Chemicals
The chemicals in your home may be contributing significantly to your stress levels without you even realizing. If you use a lot of antiperspirant sprays or toxic cleaning substances, then you could be breathing in a lot of dangerous fumes. If you want to totally revamp the health levels in your household you need to rethink your habits. For example, you can make your own cleaning products at home from lemons, white wine vinegar and baking soda. Keep your home sparkling clean without breathing in toxic fumes. Going greener might just help you to refresh your mind and feel at ease again.

13. Be Kinder
When you do nice things for other people, you will instantly feel uplifted. Carrying out good deeds is a sure fire way to increase happiness and reduce stress. Even if you buy a homeless person a coffee or help an old lady cross the road, you might find serenity in a daily act of kindness.

14. Talk More
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside will never be useful when you’re trying to refresh your mind and soothe your soul. Try to open up to somebody you trust and talk about how you are feeling. If you struggle to speak about your emotions then you might find it useful to visit a reputable psychotherapist. They will be able to teach you calming and therapeutic techniques to get over your stress and anxiety.

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15. Take the Pressure off Yourself
Finally, you need to stop overthinking every stressful situation in your life and take the pressure off. When your mind is constantly overburdened with stress you will start to feel overwhelmed. Take a moment to think about the bigger picture and don’t take life too seriously. Although this is much easier said than done when you are an anxious person, it will help you to achieve calmness in the long run.

Every single person is completely unique, so you might find some of these methods magical. Other methods might seem completely alien to you, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do everything. Over a prolonged period of time you should attempt some of the most appealing techniques and see how they work for you. It might simply be a case of eating well, hydrating more or reevaluating your relationship. You will find the root of your stress soon and the moment you gain clarity will be a life changing time. Suffering from stress and anxiety will never be easy, but you can find a way to gain control over it. Don’t allow your worries to tip you over the edge and give you extra stress in your life. Practice some of the ideas above and you will soon be able to refresh your mind and soothe your soul.

This is a collaborative post.

The Essential Self-Care Starter Kit

Hi lovelies,

Since helping others in how to unconditionally love, support, honor, and protect themselves through self-care is a personal mission of mine, I wanted to curate my essential self-care starter kit for those unsure of where to start when it comes to growing your level of self-worth and self-esteem.

It’s crucial to remember that self-care isn’t about spa days and face masks, although those activities can be apart of your self-care routine, it’s truly about taking inspired and intentional action to honor who you are and the space that you take up in this beautiful world.

Self-care is the foundation for creating healthy boundaries with yourself and others, exercising your own autonomy, building your self-confidence, elevating your mind, body, soul, and spirit, and unlocking your inner peace, love, and joy that’s waiting for you.

Please enjoy some of my favorite ways to honor my life by taking intentional time to slow down, be still, and get present - plus, here’s more Self-Care Essentials.

Need additional guidance in harnessing the power of self-care? Then check out my self-care sessions, here, grab a copy of the Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power guide and journal, here, and don’t forget to subscribe to the Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Power podcast, here.

***Just click the images below to get started.***

BATH + BODY

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JOURNALING + CREATIVITY

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AT-HOME EXPERIENCE

5 Ways Self-Care Helps to Increase Your Bottom-Line

Hi lovelies,

As an entrepreneur who’s built profitable and purposeful companies through my lifestyle brand, Actress with Style, and my personal branding consulting service, The Billionaire Blogger Society, the single most important lesson that I had to learn to ensure the success of my businesses was to take care of myself first.

If I wasn’t full within myself then I would have nothing to give to my audience and to my clients, and before my business could flourish, I had to learn how to first flourish from within. Through building an arsenal of self-esteem building and self-care practices, I was able to show up for myself and my business in a more healthy, productive, and effective way.

What was born of this newfound mindset, is my first book, Sugar Pills: 10 Ways to Awaken Your Inner Power. From this experience of personal and professional growth, I wanted to share with you how to grow your bottom-line through healthy self-care practices. Be sure to comment on which insights speak to you and share your own story of self-care and securing the bag.

5 Ways Self-Care Helps Secure the Bag

#1: Secure the bag through inspired action

The only way that you’re actually going to make money doing what you love, is by doing it! One of the biggest hindrances to building a profitable business is by being paralyzed by fear and never getting started or by starting and then stopping the moment you hit a road bump. The way to get over this business building block is by building up your accountability, both to you self and to your team.

Self-care Tip: Awaken the Power of Accountability

The way to transform your vision, dreams, plans, and strategies, into a real life manifestation and accomplish your goals, is by holding yourself and your team accountable. Be accountable to show up for yourself, to think out of the box, to take risks, to learn from your mistakes, to not be afraid to fail, and to make sure that you surround yourself by people who are really there to support you and to cut dead weight when needed.

At the end of the day, the only person responsible for your success is yourself, so you have to take accountability and responsibility for your actions and decisions, and most importantly, for how you spend your time.

#2: Secure the bag by not settling for less than what you deserve

You have to remember that you’re running a business and not a charity. One of the biggest obstacles that I faced when building my brand was people asking me to work for free or at a discounted rate. If I had continued to devalue the work that I did for my clients, I would have never been able to quit my “survival job” and become a full-time entrepreneur.

The trick to not settling is to build up your self-esteem and self-confidence so that you’re so secure and grounded in who you are and the value that you provide for your clients, that you’re unwilling to disrespect yourself and your business by working for free.

Self-care Tip: Awaken The Power of Having Standards

Having and enforcing standards and boundaries is one of the most effective ways to activate your power. We condition people on how they treat us, so if you don’t have standards and boundaries in both your personal and professional life, then you can find yourself being stretched too thin, not fulfilled, exhausted, and worn out, because people will take from you as much as you’re willing to give, so you need to establish boundaries in order to protect your time, energy, and space. The best way to show people how you to treat you, is by example. The way you treat yourself is the number 1 indicator of how other people think that they can treat you.

Questions to ask yourself: What do I expect of myself, in terms of honesty, trust, respect, and accountability? What do I expect from other people, in terms of honesty, trust, respect, and accountability? Then make sure that your actions are in alignment with those expectations.

#3: Secure the bag by building an unstoppable team

The quickest way to manifest your professional goals and dreams is by building a team that believes in your vision and is equipped to do their jobs efficiently and effectively. The bottom-line is that your business and your brand is only as strong as your people so it’s imperative to be mindful of the employees that you hire and the friends and associates that you surround yourself with, because they will determine how far and how quickly you grow.

Self-care Tip: Awaken the Power of Your Circle  

Beware of the company that you keep. There’s a reason why the saying, “Birds of a feather, flock together,” always rings true. If you want to know where you’re at in your life and more importantly, where you’re going, just look around at your inner circle of friends. It’s super important to be able to trust the people that you surround yourself with and also make sure that you are surrounded by people that not only encourage you, but also are at a level that you aspire to be at.

You don’t want to be the most successful person in your circle and you also want to be with people that add value to your life. Take an inventory of who you have in your life and involved in your business and write-out what value they add to your life, business, and bottom-line.

#4: Secure the bag by having a vision for your life

If you don’t know what you’re going or what your endgame is, then you’ll continually to be lost and unproductive in both your life and career. Set goals and milestone for where you want to take your business and actually see yourself succeeding in those areas. You won’t be able to grow your business if you don’t have a clear understanding of what you’re trying to create. The trick here is to dream big and not limit yourself and the expectations that you have for your business because the only boundaries that your business has are the boundaries that you create for yourself.

Self-care Tip: Awaken the Power of a Vision
“Before the world can see it, the mind must imagine it.” You must know what you want your life to look before you can create it. The power of visualizing your success and life is paramount to manifesting those things into your reality. The best part is, visualizing and having a vision is 100% free and you can do it right now and start transforming your life.

Also, the vision you have for you life is a great checkpoint for how you move through your current circumstances and the decisions you make, you can ask yourself, “Is this in alignment and in service to what the greater vision for my life is?” Use your vision as a compass for daily actions.

When visualizing your life be sure to feel it. Feel what it feels like to cross the finish of your goal, to buy your dream home, ride in your dream car, have healthy and happy relationships, making your first million, or whatever it is.

#5: Secure the bag by respecting your elders

Just because we live in a digital savvy world, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and insights from those that came before us. The best way to implement a profitable plan to build your brand is by creating a blueprint based successful strategies from established entrepreneurs and business leaders. This means being strong and vulnerable to ask for help, advice, and guidance when needed.
Remember: even though it is your business, you do not have to build it alone.

Self-care tip: Awaken the Power of Mentorship

Learning from someone who is has done what you’re trying to do is one of the most invaluable resources that you can have. The trick is to find someone that you can trust and that genuinely wants to help you win and achieve your goals. You can learn from their triumphs as well as their mistakes and they can insights on how to reach your goal quicker, how to adjust your mindset, and how to up-level your circle.

I’ve had trouble finding someone to be my mentor. I would reach out to people and for whatever reason, it never really worked out. So I turned to YouTube and watch people that I admired during their interviews, masterclasses, documentaries, and videos. If you can’t find someone to be your mentor in-person, then search for their personal and professional stories online.

5 Things Every Healthy Person Does Alone

Hi lovelies,

As an introvert, I love my alone time at-home, with just me, my books, tea, and a warm blanket. Taking time off to recharge my batteries and be with myself fills me back up and reignites my creativity.

But being alone in your apartment is pretty easy, but what about doing things on your own outside the comfort of your personal space? Are you able to do things that are usually reserved for social occasions without the security blanket of your squad?

If not, then I challenge you to do one thing on the list below each week to grow outside of your comfort zone and learn how to be comfortable in your skin while owning the space that you take up. And grab your copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power, on Amazon, here.

5 Things Every Healthy Person Does Alone

#1: Take your self to the movies

Get some popcorn, sit back, and relax. Head to the movie theatre alone to watch the latest flick. Laugh, cry, and everything in-between soaking in the newest blockbuster.

#2: Take your self out to dinner

Grab your favorite book or journal and take your self out to dinner. Dining alone can be one of the most liberating experiences that you can have. Allow your self to be your own best company and enjoy a meal at a restaurant that you’ve been dying to try.

#3: Take your self on a staycation

Book a hotel or an AirBNB for the weekend and take a solo mini-vacation. Take a dip in the pool or explore local places that you usually don’t have time to experience.

#4: Take your self to a party

Some people have trouble going out to events or parties without a +1, but I have found that is when I meet the most people and expand my social circle when I head out solo. Instead of standing around chatting it up with my bestie, I’m forced to introduce myself to people that I don’t know and create new social connections, so if there’s a party, event, or networking opportunity that you want to go to, RSVP solo and show up ready to meet new people.

#5: Take your self to a museum or a pottery class

Take in some culture at a local museum or take a pottery class or art class and opt to go it alone. Going alone will give yourself the space and time to enjoy the art and activity on your own terms, it also opens you up to meeting new people that you may not have normally connected with if you were with your usual crew.

PODCAST: 5 Ways to Live a Happier Life

LISTEN ON iTUNES, HERE.

Hi lovelies,

In case you missed my blog post, 5 Ways to Live a Happier Life, you can listen to it while on-the-go, on the Sugar Pills Podcast, here.

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, review, and share!

And grab your copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power, on Amazon, here.

5 Ways to Live a Happier Life

Hi lovelies,

My main goal in life is to simply enjoy it. If you’re not happy and fulfilled, then what’s the point? Of course there will be ups and downs, ebbs and flows in life, but overall, you can create a blueprint of happiness and joy from which to build your life experience upon.

The most important lesson to know is that you, and you alone, are responsible for your happiness. This allows you to fully embrace your power. No one can take your power unless you give it to them, so read below for five ways to lead a happier life that creates a foundation and mindset to be in a place of power.

5 Ways to Live a Happier Life

1: Practice Self-Compassion

One of the biggest life lessons that I had to learn, and remind myself of on a daily basis, is to be gentle with myself. To show myself the same love, grace, and understanding that I would to my best friend or to the person that I loved the most in the world, because the person that we love the most in the world and honor the most in the world, should be ourselves. We’re human and we’re allowed to make mistakes and we’re inherently imperfect beings. So embrace your imperfections and be easy on yourself and allow yourself to find your way through compassion.

2: Learn to Relax

As an entrepreneur, I used to feel like I always had “to be busy.” That it was my life to be pitching, posting, hustling, grinding, etc., and that rat race just got exhausting, uninspired, and just led to burnout and fatigue.

I had to retrain my brain and body to relax, destress, and unwind. I was so busy being busy that I had stopped enjoying my journey and the process. That’s when I started implementing an intentional self-care plan. I started to have a cut-off time from work, where I would go offline and read, watch my favorite TV shows, take an epsom salt bath, or go for walk and listen to a podcast.

3: Meditate and Journal

This shouldn’t be a shocker, but meditating and taking a few moments to journal your thoughts and feelings is a powerful way to reclaim your power and establish a foundation of peace, joy, and self-awareness.

The best way is start with 3-5 minutes a day and then increase from there as your grow in your journey. Set a timer on phone, create a safe and comfortable space, and focus on your breathing. Don’t worry about thoughts popping up in your head, just do your best to observe them and not interact with them, and like all things, it gets easier with time. You can also do guided meditations to help you relax and focus. You can search for guided meditations on YouTube for free.

For journaling, you don’t have to be a great writer, just a pen and pad or even on your computer or phone. If you’re having trouble thinking of what to write, use journal entry prompts and questions to get your started. Or simply ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now? What am I struggling with right now? What am I excited about right now?”

4: Date Yourself

Take the time to get to know yourself when no one else is around. Take yourself to the movies, out to dinner, to a comedy club, for a hike, or whatever your interests and passions are, do things that make you authentically happy and fulfilled.

Spend a night alone and get comfortable in your own skin and in your own company. Become your own best friend and your own perfect partner. Rediscover what makes you tick and what turns you on as an individual. Forget the societal labels of wife, father, husband, daughter, best friend, boss, co-workers, etc., and focus on the simplicity of just being your Self.

5: Mind Your Business

This might sound simple, but believe, minding your own business can be tougher than it seems. I had to learn to only worry about what was my business, what was in my control, and what was truly my responsibility. As a recovering ‘people pleaser’ this was harder said than done and something that I work on a daily basis, but learning to only take on what is actually my business and problems has fundamentally elevated my level personal happiness, peace, and stability.

This makes you the center of your own well-being and you’re not responsible for saving other people and other people aren’t responsible for your well-being which gives you the ultimate power to enjoy your life and relish in all of the beauty and joy that’s available to you now.

Things that are your business:

• Your self-care practices

• Your mental health

• Your physical health

• Your emotional well-being

• Your boundaries

• Your standards

• Your self-worth

• Your self-esteem

• Your self-respect

• Your standards

• Your self-confidence

• Your happiness

• Your relationships

• Your career

Things that are not your business:

• Other people’s happiness

• Other people’s relationships

• Other people’s careers

• Other people’s opinions of you

• Other people’s sense of self

VLOG: 3 Free Ways To Practice Self-Care