CANDY WASHINGTON

WRITER | PRODUCER | ACTOR | MANIFESTATION + SELF-LOVE MUSE

Self-Care

Episode 18: Adult Bullies Do Exist Here’s How Not to Be One

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Listen above to the latest episode or on iTunes, here.

In this episode, we discuss the fact that adult bullies do exist and I give tangible ways to ensure that you don’t become one. This episode is based off of my article that was published in The Candidly. 

It was your typical Tuesday in the life of an influencer. I was sitting at a fancy blogger brunch, surrounded by the familiar faces of my writer, editor, and blogger friends and acquaintances. As we pushed around the food on our plates and sipped on Rosé, I noticed the mumblings of a conversation between, Nina* and Jane*. 

Nina, “Yeah, the Kardashian’s made curves cool, but that trend is so over.” She then turns, laughs, points to me and says, “Haha, I mean, Candy has the biggest ass here!” My mouth went dry when the meaning of what she said had sunk in. Was she making fun of my body? Was she low-key calling me fat? Was she trying to make the others girl laugh at my expense? Was she exerting her position as the Alpha at the table? Is this was body-shaming felt like? It was clear that the answer was, ‘Yes to all of the above.’

I suppose she had expected the rest of the table to erupt into laughter with her, but when her mean-spirited dig was met with silence, she responded, “Oh, I mean, I wish my butt was bigger!” This back-handed follow-up comment really solidified her mean girl status. 

My friend Eva* looked at me and mouthed, “Are you okay?” I nodded that I was but that was a lie. Even though the other girls didn’t join in on making fun of my shape, I felt a hot wave of shame wash all over my body. I bit my lower lip in an effort to stifle the tears that were threatening to break free from my eyes. 

Here I was, an accomplished content creator surrounded by my industry peers at a professional event being reduced to feeling like a 12 year old girl in the cafeteria lunchroom that no one wanted to sit with. Weren’t we as adults, and especially as women, supposed to be evolved enough to not take pleasure in inflicting emotional and physical pain on others? Weren’t we supposed to know that bringing someone else down doesn’t bring ourselves up? Apparently not. 

When I got back home after the brunch, I started to think about the roots of adult bullying and what was causing another accomplished woman to feel the need to belittle another accomplished woman in the presence of others. But more importantly, I thought of tangible ways to ensure that I never became like her. That I never projected my own pain, hurt, and insecurities onto other people as a way to temporarily elevate my own feeling of being less than. After all, ‘hurt people, hurt people.’ 

So in an effort to repurpose the pain, shame, and embarrassment that I felt that day, I’ve pulled together a few key insights on how not to become an adult bully. 

Identify your own triggers and get some perspective
Getting clear on who you are and what makes you tick is imperative to harnessing your true strength and inner peace. When you’re able to be self-aware enough to know what areas in your life you still need to heal, then you’re able to identify when those triggers are being activated and address them with grace, love, and compassion, rather than lashing out at the nearest target. 

Usually people bully other people because something about that person or experience triggers a pre-existing insecurity or wound within that person. Until we are able to heal our own wounds, we’ll keep wounding others. Actively working on your own self-awareness can be scary, tough, and at-times exhausting, but healing your wounds and taking back your power to choose differently when triggered is the work that we must do in order to become whole, healed, and healthy human beings. 

Key Exercise: Mindfully notice when you feel shame, embarrassment, anger, resentment, and any negative feelings. Then journal about what was said, what happened, and what memories were brought up from past trauma that triggered those same emotions. Getting clear on the correlations between past trauma and present triggers will help you mature and grow emotionally. This way, you’re able to check yourself and moderate yourself, rather than project your own pain onto others.

Practice gratitude 
I know, I know. Gratitude has been a wellness buzzword for the past few years, but there’s a reason for that. When you are full of gratitude for what you have and for what is on its way to you, you cannot simultaneously hold space for jealousy, envy, or feeling less than, which is another root cause of bullying. 

We tend to want to tear other people down because we feel that there isn’t enough love, praise, money, attention, friendship, or whatever, to go around, so we want to make sure that we get it which means someone else has to go without. The feeling of scarcity or the feeling of being less than is a root cause of this faulty mentality which leads to the destructive behavior that manifests itself as bullying.

Getting clear on the fact that who you are is enough, that you have intrinsic value and meaning, is the first step to healing the faulty mentality that you have to compete with others for love, attention, affection, friendship, and success. It’s the first step to focusing on our own life in a healthy way so that you no longer feel the need to bring others down in a false attempt to elevate your own ego.

Key Exercise: Forget about having ‘an attitude of gratitude’ actually practice and implement a lifestyle of gratitude into your daily routine. This means going beyond keeping a gratitude journal, but to changing the way you think, speak, and act both to yourself and others through the lens of gratitude. 

See below for a few tangible examples:

Old way: “I’m sorry I was late, I’m always running behind.”
Gratitude way: “Thank you for waiting for me.”

Old way: “I never have enough time to stop and fully take in what’s going on around me.”
Gratitude way: “I always have enough time. I’m thankful for all of the abundance around me, from the trees, the birds, the sun, and everything else in -between.”

Old way: “There’s only room for one person like me in my workplace/friendship group/etc.”
Gratitude way: “I’m thankful for surrounding myself with people who accept and include me as I am and I love doing the same for others.”

Old way: “Nothing ever works out for me. I have such terrible luck.”
Gratitude way: “Everything is always working out for me. All that comes to pass is for my greatest good. I consciously create my own luck.” 

Old way: “Who does she think she is? I’ll show her!”
Gratitude way: “I love seeing other women own their power in a clear and confident way. I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn from her and do the same.”

It is my sincere hope that you found value in my story and in my insights. If so, please comment and share. 

*Names changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty. 

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I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power: amzn.to/2GNPDL6, or grab it on Amazon Kindle: amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my Self-Care Starter Kit: amazon.com/shop/candywashington.

For more on practical self-care: candywashington.com/self-care 

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

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Episode 17: How to Create Healthy Personal Boundaries

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Listen above to the latest episode or on iTunes, here.

In this episode, we discuss how to create healthy personal boundaries and why they are so important to your overall happiness and health. Establishing healthy personal boundaries is essential to forming and maintaining a positive sense of self, self-image, and your self-concept. 

Let’s first define healthy personal boundaries, and having healthy personal boundaries will translate into having healthy professional boundaries as well. It will positively affect all areas of your life.

The mental, emotional, and physical limitations that we create in order to protect ourselves from exhaustion, manipulation, violations, and abuse from others are our personal boundaries. Healthy boundaries empower us to establish who we are, what we feel, what we think, as individual people from the wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings of others. 

This doesn’t mean that we don’t respect the boundaries that other people have established for themselves, it just means that we honor ourselves as unique individuals and hold other people accountable to do the same. 

So, now that we know what personal boundaries are, let’s now discuss what they can do and remember that we must be willing and open to communicate in a healthy, direct, and honest way, with others what our boundaries are and honor that we are all unique individual human beings with our own wants, needs, preferences, desires, emotions, and voices. 

Creating, establishing, and enforcing healthy personal boundaries, is the way in which we let other people know how we want to be treated and it communicates to them that we have self-worth, self-value, and self-respect. It also lets them know that you define you and that you don’t let others determine the trajectory of your life and the way in which you feel about yourself. 

Setting healthy boundaries helps you to maintain your integrity as a human being, take ownership for your life, and to take your control back from anyone trying to encroach upon your free will as an individual. 

*GUIDE TO ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Know that you have a right to personal boundaries. 
You not only have the right, but you must take responsibility for how you allow others to treat you. Your boundaries act as filters permitting what is acceptable in your life and what is not. If you don't have boundaries that protect and define you, as in a strong sense of identity, you tend to derive your sense of worth from others. To avoid this situation, set clear and decisive limits so that others will respect them, then be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them. Interestingly, it's been shown that those who have weak boundaries themselves tend to violate the boundaries of others. 

Identify the actions and behaviors that you find unacceptable. 
Let others know when they've crossed the line, acted inappropriately, or disrespected you in any way. Do not be afraid to tell others when you need emotional and physical space. Allow yourself to be who you really are without pressure from others to be anything else. Know what actions you may need to take if your wishes aren't respected.

Trust and believe in yourself. 
You are the highest authority on you. You know yourself best. You know what you need, want, and value. Don't let anyone else make the decisions for you. Healthy boundaries make it possible for you to respect your strengths, abilities and individuality as well as those of others. An unhealthy imbalance occurs when you encourage neediness, or are needy; want to be rescued, or are the rescuer, or when you choose to play the victim.

*Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

  • Going against personal values or rights in order to please others

  • Giving as much as you can for the sake of giving

  • Taking as much as you can for the sake of taking

  • Letting others define you

  • Expecting others to fill your needs automatically

  • Feeling bad or guilty when you say no

  • Not speaking up when you are treated poorly

  • Falling apart so someone can take care of you

  • Falling "in love" with someone you barely know or who reaches out to you

  • Accepting advances, touching and sex that you don't want

  • Touching a person without asking

*When we possess healthy personal boundaries

✔ We have improved self-confidence and a healthy self-concept

✔ We are more in touch with reality

✔ Are better able to communicate with others

✔ Have better more fulfilling relationships

✔ Have more stability and control over our lives

Remember: It’s never too late to work on establishing healthy personal boundaries. Everyday is a new day to begin again and become the strong, confident, whole, and complete person that you were born to be. 

* Note: Research for this podcast episode should be credited to Essential Life Skills from an article written by Z. Hereford and the starred sections are excerpts from the article. 

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I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power: amzn.to/2GNPDL6, or grab it on Amazon Kindle: amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my Self-Care Starter Kit: amazon.com/shop/candywashington.

For more on practical self-care: candywashington.com/self-care 

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

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Episode 10: Ten Things Every Healthy Person Does Alone

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment
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Hi lovelies,

As an introvert, I love my alone time at-home, with just me, my books, tea, and a warm blanket. Taking time off to recharge my batteries and be with myself fills me back up and reignites my creativity.

But being alone in your apartment is pretty easy, but what about doing things on your own outside the comfort of your personal space? Are you able to do things that are usually reserved for social occasions without the security blanket of your squad?

If not, then I challenge you to do one thing on the list below each week to grow outside of your comfort zone and learn how to be comfortable in your skin while owning the space that you take up.

#1: TAKE YOURSELF TO THE MOVIES

#2: TAKE YOURSELF OUT TO DINNER

#3: TAKE YOURSELF ON A STAYCATION

#4: TAKE YOURSELF TO A PARTY

#5: TAKE YOURSELF TO A MUSEUM OR A POTTERY CLASS

#6: TAKE YOURSELF TO THE BEACH

#7: TAKE YOURSELF TO A NETWORKING EVENT

#8: TAKE YOURSELF TO A CONCERT

#9: TAKE YOURSELF ON A TRAVEL ABROAD TRIP

#10: TAKE YOURSELF ON A ROAD TRIP

As always, I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6

Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashington

For more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-care

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

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Episode 9: Five Ways to Stop Caring About What People Think

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment
sugar pills self care podcast.png

Hi lovelies,

Tired of letting comments, criticism, clap-backs, and shade get you down? Then listen to this episode of Sugar Pills: A Practical Guide to Self-Care and get your power back.

Five Ways to Stop Caring About What People Think

  • Know the difference between an opinion and a put-down

  • Don’t give away your power to choose (accept vs. reject)

  • Your opinion trumps all

  • Be mindful of your perspective - create space and observe

  • Don’t internalize other people’s insecurities - Ask yourself: “Do I agree with what these people are saying about me?”

  • Bonus: Are you projecting your own thoughts, fears, and insecurities onto what someone else said?

As always, I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6

Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashington

For more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-care

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

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Episode 8: Five Ways To Know You’re Ready for a Healthy Relationship

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment
candy washington sugar pills podcast.png

Hi lovelies,

Today on the podcast we're discussing five ways to know that you're ready for a healthy relationship.

  1. You’re complete on your own - not perfect

  2. You’re self-love game in on point

  3. You’re over your ex

  4. You’re seeking a partner - not a therapist or a parent

  5. You have a strong support system - friends and spiritual

As always, I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6

Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashington

For more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-care

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

candy washington signature.png

Episode 7: Stop Networking and Start Cultivating - 5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Listen above to the latest episode or on iTunes, here. I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6

Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashington 

For more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-care.

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

candy washington signature.png

15 Fabulous Ways to Refresh Your Mind and Soothe Your Soul

Mind, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Feeling stressed and overwhelmed is something you have become quite accustomed to over the years. You realize that you shouldn’t have to suffer on a regular basis, but nothing seems to be working for you. When it comes to refreshing your mind and soothing your soul, there are so many different techniques you can try. Whether you’re trying to enhance your workout or improve your diet, every small change can contribute considerable amounts. There could be many reasons why you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you shouldn’t have to suffer any longer. Of course you are going to have worries and stresses in your life, but they should never inhibit you from doing what you really love. If you have yet to find a calming and stress relieving technique that works for you, try some of the following fabulous methods right now.

1. Hydrate! 
You might be surprised to hear that the amount of water in your body can have a direct affect on your mood. If you aren’t drinking enough you will feel slow, sluggish and unmotivated for most of the day. With Berkey water filter systems you can be sure that you are getting your recommended water intake; the water will also be fresh and clean. If you aren’t a fan of plain water then why not spruce it up with some fresh fruit or cordial? Up your water intake to eight or ten glasses a day, and see if your mood improves.

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2. Eat Well
As well as water, food can have a huge impact on your stress levels and emotions. If you find yourself binging on high sugar snacks you are likely to experience an unwanted crash right afterwards. Keep your blood sugar steady with slow releasing carbohydrates and whole grain foods. If you get the urge for something sweet grab a green apple and dip it into a dollop of peanut butter. Switching up your diet will work wonders for your mind and body, so why not try it out today?

3. Move Your Body
When you exercise on a regular basis, your body gives off happy hormones called endorphins. These hormones release a positive surge throughout your mind and body, which can help to relieve symptoms of anxiety. Taking on gentle movement each day will help you to overcome your stress and feel calm again.

4. Rethink Your Career 
Your job is such a huge part of your life, so why be unhappy in it? Your career can take a huge turn for the better if you have the guts to admit that you’re unhappy. There is no point in dragging yourself into the office daily when it has such as negative impact on your emotions. Rethink your career and you will soon see a huge improvement in your mental health.

5. Reconnect With Family
When you are having issues with your family it can have a huge knock on effect to you mood. Your family are a fundamental part of your life so you need to remain well connected with them as much as possible. Don’t take your loved ones for granted as you never know when they might not be there. Take the time to call or text them whenever you get a moment and you will soon feel a sense of relief.

6. Assess Your Relationship
If you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, you are never going to get your mental health on track. It can be very easy to feel trapped with someone you have spent a long time with, but you can’t allow this to impact your happiness. If you’re unhappy in a relationship you shouldn’t be afraid to walk away and seek better things for yourself.

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7. Put More Effort Into Your Friendships
Your friends are going to be there for you through thick and thin, so you need to value every aspect of your friendships. There are many ways in which you can be a better friend, such as checking up on them when they are poorly or dropping them a text to let you know how much you love them. As soon as you put more into your friendships you will start to get a lot more out of them. 

8. Meditate
Taking some time away from your hectic life to meditate can help you to feel completely calm and relaxed. Use an app to tune out from the world and focus on your breathing for a short amount of time every single day. Meditation is proven to be a healer for anyone suffering from mental health problems or ongoing stress, so why not give it a try?

One obstacle for many people trying to learn how to meditate is that it can be tough to let go of the past and stay in the present moment. As such, it is a good idea to try and find an easy method to let go of the past, as this is going to encourage you to be more mindful of the present moment.

9. Lose Your Screens
Getting lost in your phone, laptop or tablet screen is becoming all too common these days. People are forgetting to embrace their real lives and they watch the world go by through a screen instead. Try to take some time away from your screen whenever possible; this will help you to really appreciate the wonderful opportunities around you.

10. Submit to Self Care
We sometimes fall victim to stress because we forget to take care of ourselves. Perhaps you’re busy caring for a family member and you don’t have the time to do things for yourself anymore. This won’t help you to feel refreshed and relaxed so it’s time to submit to self care. Whether you take ten minutes to read your favourite book or you go for a short walk in the fresh air, these small acts of self care will work wonders for your mental health

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11. Practice Gratitude
When you’re stressed out it is very easy to forget about all the amazing things you have going on in your life. Practicing gratitude will go a long way if you are trying to make a difference to your day to day emotions. Nobody else can carry out this technique for you, so it needs to come from within. Write down two or three things every single morning that you are grateful for and your mood will soon be turned from negative to positive.

12. Reduce Chemicals
The chemicals in your home may be contributing significantly to your stress levels without you even realizing. If you use a lot of antiperspirant sprays or toxic cleaning substances, then you could be breathing in a lot of dangerous fumes. If you want to totally revamp the health levels in your household you need to rethink your habits. For example, you can make your own cleaning products at home from lemons, white wine vinegar and baking soda. Keep your home sparkling clean without breathing in toxic fumes. Going greener might just help you to refresh your mind and feel at ease again.

13. Be Kinder
When you do nice things for other people, you will instantly feel uplifted. Carrying out good deeds is a sure fire way to increase happiness and reduce stress. Even if you buy a homeless person a coffee or help an old lady cross the road, you might find serenity in a daily act of kindness.

14. Talk More
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside will never be useful when you’re trying to refresh your mind and soothe your soul. Try to open up to somebody you trust and talk about how you are feeling. If you struggle to speak about your emotions then you might find it useful to visit a reputable psychotherapist. They will be able to teach you calming and therapeutic techniques to get over your stress and anxiety.

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15. Take the Pressure off Yourself
Finally, you need to stop overthinking every stressful situation in your life and take the pressure off. When your mind is constantly overburdened with stress you will start to feel overwhelmed. Take a moment to think about the bigger picture and don’t take life too seriously. Although this is much easier said than done when you are an anxious person, it will help you to achieve calmness in the long run.

Every single person is completely unique, so you might find some of these methods magical. Other methods might seem completely alien to you, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do everything. Over a prolonged period of time you should attempt some of the most appealing techniques and see how they work for you. It might simply be a case of eating well, hydrating more or reevaluating your relationship. You will find the root of your stress soon and the moment you gain clarity will be a life changing time. Suffering from stress and anxiety will never be easy, but you can find a way to gain control over it. Don’t allow your worries to tip you over the edge and give you extra stress in your life. Practice some of the ideas above and you will soon be able to refresh your mind and soothe your soul.

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This is a collaborative post.

Sugar Pills Podcast: The Warmth of Your Inner Voice

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Listen above to the latest episode or on iTunes, here.

I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6

Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashington

For more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-care

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

candy washington signature.png

The Essential Self-Care Starter Kit

Mind, Lifestyle, Personal Stories, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Since helping others in how to unconditionally love, support, honor, and protect themselves through self-care is a personal mission of mine, I wanted to curate my essential self-care starter kit for those unsure of where to start when it comes to growing your level of self-worth and self-esteem.

It’s crucial to remember that self-care isn’t about spa days and face masks, although those activities can be apart of your self-care routine, it’s truly about taking inspired and intentional action to honor who you are and the space that you take up in this beautiful world.

Self-care is the foundation for creating healthy boundaries with yourself and others, exercising your own autonomy, building your self-confidence, elevating your mind, body, soul, and spirit, and unlocking your inner peace, love, and joy that’s waiting for you.

Please enjoy some of my favorite ways to honor my life by taking intentional time to slow down, be still, and get present - plus, here’s more Self-Care Essentials.

Need additional guidance in harnessing the power of self-care? Then check out my self-care sessions, here, grab a copy of the Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power guide and journal, here, and don’t forget to subscribe to the Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Power podcast, here.

***Just click the images below to get started.***

BATH + BODY


MEDITATION


JOURNALING + CREATIVITY


READING


AT-HOME EXPERIENCE

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How to Awaken the Power of Perseverance

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

Listen above to the latest episode or on iTunes, here.

I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.

If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6

Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.

You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashington

Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

candy washington signature.png

The Giving Keys Interview on Forgiveness with Candy Washington

Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

As featured on The Giving Keys.

I’m Candy Washington – I’m a content creator, author, actress and at my core, I’m a storyteller.

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The most powerful story of forgiveness that I’m a part of would probably be with my father.  He wasn’t really present in my life and I had to learn how to accept that and see him as a person, not as an ideal and forgive myself for thinking that I was less than without him.

To me, forgiveness means having compassionate accountability for yourself and for others. That really creates a space to let go in a way that removes guilt, blame and shame.

I think forgiveness is challenging because it makes it seem as though you are agreeing that what the person did was ok or that somehow that you were hurt by isn’t justified. So I think sometimes it’s difficult to forgive because you that you are giving away your power but the truth is that it’s the opposite, you are actually empowering yourself with the ability to move on and to let go and to take that negative energy and turning it into something positive that you can use and move forward with.

I think it’s easier to forgive people because if you feel that you have to be forgiven you have to admit that you did something wrong. I think sometimes when you have to admit that you did something wrong it can bruise the ego because the ego wants to stay in the state of  ‘I’m right and you’re wrong.’ So to be forgiven means you have to acknowledge that you made a mistake, that you did something wrong and that your actions hurt someone else and that you have to be accountable for those decisions. Sometimes people ask for forgiveness but you can tell it’s very surface like 'Oh yeah I’m sorry' or 'I’m sorry you felt that way' - being kind of dismissive, I think it takes a bigger person to say, 'Please forgive me for what I did.'

For me, being able to ask for forgiveness has really come from a place of self-reflection and self-awareness and acknowledging that you don’t have to have judgment around what happens to you or what you do. We’re all humans and by design we make mistakes. Being forgiven and asking for forgiveness is just a part of our human experience. When you don’t personalize it like, 'I am wrong,' 'I am bad' or 'I am awful' and you kind of allow yourself to have a healthy distance from where you did something wrong and I made a mistake but I am not that mistake and that doesn’t make me wrong, the event and the act is wrong. When you can separate your person from the action it’s much easier to say please forgive me for what I did because you know who I am.

I think it’s imperative that we think about forgiveness not just in our individual lives but also when it comes to the collective consciousness of the world and what’s happening locally, nationally and internationally. I think we need to forgive people who we think are going against what we believe, what we think is right, what we think we should be doing. Once you’re able to forgive past actions and past transgressions then you open up a space for healthy dialogue and you can say this is what I believe, this is what I think, let me actually hear and listen to your perspective. As long as you’re defending your position, you’re not listening and your're not open to learning about a different perspective or someone else’s experience. I can have my opinion and you can have your opinion and they both can coexist without one person being bad and one person being good.  As long as we think I’m always right, you’re not growing and you’re not moving forward. I think a lot of our leaders are stuck on 'this is the way we’ve always done it,' this is the way we’re always going to do it that they’re not actually thinking about what’s best and most beneficial now that will create a better world moving forward.

 I use forgiveness to move myself forward primarily through self-forgiveness. I tend to be really hard on myself – I always want to get the A+, I want the gold star. I have a lot of inner critic chatter that I have to check so the way I do that is through self-forgiveness. The tool I use is really simple, two words, ‘so what’? I didn’t book that gig I really wanted, so what? I’m still here, I’m still alive, I’m still moving forward, I still have my friends, I still have my family. The world is still spinning. When I’m at peace and happy with myself then I’m showing up for my friends and my family and my audience. I’m showing up in a full way because I’m full first. 

The way I nurture my capacity for self-forgiveness is through journaling. I like to write down things like how am I feeling right now? What are the reoccurring thoughts I’m thinking? What are patterns are showing up and looking at them in a loving way and not a critical way? I also meditate – I’ll light a candle and count down and get really still and centered. These are things you can try out this week and see how they work for you!

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PODCAST: Episode 4: How Self-Forgiveness Will Set You Free

Podcast, Self-CareCandy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,


Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here. Of course there will be ups and downs, ebbs and flows in life, but overall, you can create a blueprint of happiness and joy from which to build your life experience upon.

I received a question on Instagram about self-forgiveness and how that helps you to move forward in your life and I wanted to address the question on this week’s podcast.

Remember: Self-forgiveness is a compassionate way to take ownership for your life. We’re human beings and by nature, we will make mistakes and mishaps, but I promise you, you’re ok, you are forgiven, and it’s time to heal.

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