Hi lovelies,
Listen above to the latest episode or on iTunes, here.
In this episode, we discuss how to create healthy personal boundaries and why they are so important to your overall happiness and health. Establishing healthy personal boundaries is essential to forming and maintaining a positive sense of self, self-image, and your self-concept.
Let’s first define healthy personal boundaries, and having healthy personal boundaries will translate into having healthy professional boundaries as well. It will positively affect all areas of your life.
The mental, emotional, and physical limitations that we create in order to protect ourselves from exhaustion, manipulation, violations, and abuse from others are our personal boundaries. Healthy boundaries empower us to establish who we are, what we feel, what we think, as individual people from the wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings of others.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t respect the boundaries that other people have established for themselves, it just means that we honor ourselves as unique individuals and hold other people accountable to do the same.
So, now that we know what personal boundaries are, let’s now discuss what they can do and remember that we must be willing and open to communicate in a healthy, direct, and honest way, with others what our boundaries are and honor that we are all unique individual human beings with our own wants, needs, preferences, desires, emotions, and voices.
Creating, establishing, and enforcing healthy personal boundaries, is the way in which we let other people know how we want to be treated and it communicates to them that we have self-worth, self-value, and self-respect. It also lets them know that you define you and that you don’t let others determine the trajectory of your life and the way in which you feel about yourself.
Setting healthy boundaries helps you to maintain your integrity as a human being, take ownership for your life, and to take your control back from anyone trying to encroach upon your free will as an individual.
*GUIDE TO ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
Know that you have a right to personal boundaries.
You not only have the right, but you must take responsibility for how you allow others to treat you. Your boundaries act as filters permitting what is acceptable in your life and what is not. If you don't have boundaries that protect and define you, as in a strong sense of identity, you tend to derive your sense of worth from others. To avoid this situation, set clear and decisive limits so that others will respect them, then be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them. Interestingly, it's been shown that those who have weak boundaries themselves tend to violate the boundaries of others.
Identify the actions and behaviors that you find unacceptable.
Let others know when they've crossed the line, acted inappropriately, or disrespected you in any way. Do not be afraid to tell others when you need emotional and physical space. Allow yourself to be who you really are without pressure from others to be anything else. Know what actions you may need to take if your wishes aren't respected.
Trust and believe in yourself.
You are the highest authority on you. You know yourself best. You know what you need, want, and value. Don't let anyone else make the decisions for you. Healthy boundaries make it possible for you to respect your strengths, abilities and individuality as well as those of others. An unhealthy imbalance occurs when you encourage neediness, or are needy; want to be rescued, or are the rescuer, or when you choose to play the victim.
*Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries
Going against personal values or rights in order to please others
Giving as much as you can for the sake of giving
Taking as much as you can for the sake of taking
Letting others define you
Expecting others to fill your needs automatically
Feeling bad or guilty when you say no
Not speaking up when you are treated poorly
Falling apart so someone can take care of you
Falling "in love" with someone you barely know or who reaches out to you
Accepting advances, touching and sex that you don't want
Touching a person without asking
*When we possess healthy personal boundaries
✔ We have improved self-confidence and a healthy self-concept
✔ We are more in touch with reality
✔ Are better able to communicate with others
✔ Have better more fulfilling relationships
✔ Have more stability and control over our lives
Remember: It’s never too late to work on establishing healthy personal boundaries. Everyday is a new day to begin again and become the strong, confident, whole, and complete person that you were born to be.
* Note: Research for this podcast episode should be credited to Essential Life Skills from an article written by Z. Hereford and the starred sections are excerpts from the article.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m honored that you’re joining me on our journey to self-love, self-care, self-worth, and self-discovery. It is my hope that this podcast adds some joy, love, happiness, and actionable insights to your life.
If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power: amzn.to/2GNPDL6, or grab it on Amazon Kindle: amzn.to/2vxKzWc.
You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my Self-Care Starter Kit: amazon.com/shop/candywashington.
For more on practical self-care: candywashington.com/self-care
Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.
