CANDY WASHINGTON

WRITER | PRODUCER | ACTOR | MANIFESTATION + SELF-LOVE MUSE

Paying It Forward: Learning To Be a More Caring Person

Candy WashingtonComment

Hi lovelies,

In the modern-day, the notion of self-care is all around us. And while it's easy to see that everybody needs to be aware of how to look after themselves properly, one of the biggest setbacks of this attitude is that we're not “paying it forward.” Learning to be the most caring person you can be is about getting that balance between understanding they have to look after yourselves while also making sure that you are not being inherently selfish. You don't have to be someone with ideas above your station, or a rich philanthropist to be caring for other people. There are small ways that you can develop compassion for others, so let's show you some simple approaches that can make a massive difference.

Addressing Your Career Choice
Naturally, a career is one of those areas that can make a massive difference to our quality of life and outlook. To be a caring person, many people think that the shortcut is to go into nursing will be in a doctor. But to be the most caring person you can be is about your dress in your career choice and seeing if it does a line with your values. 

We are all aware of the Florence Nightingale approach to looking after people, and we think that this could be the most ideal way to be a caring person, however, we must remember that if we want to be a caring individual in the medical profession, it's about the entire package that we present. This means that we address components of our mindset and not just convey a caring attitude, but also our exterior, so that we have a very strong framework. And we can do this by addressing how we look. 

In the nursing profession, there's a lot to be said for how you present yourself, and this is why the image, right down to the uniform you wear, is paramount. There are women's medical uniforms from Uniform Advantage and styles of outfits that will help to convey to a person that you are someone who is to be trusted. We have to think about this in terms of image because we naturally have inbuilt systems in our minds that stop us from trusting people because we don't like how they look. If you want to be a caring individual, you can certainly go into a caring profession, but this means you have to address the experience. This goes right down to the body language you convey.

Using Your Body Language in the Right Ways
We all have that impression of someone instantly as to whether we can trust them or not. If you feel that you have a lot to offer, whether it's in the medical profession, or in life, you must consider how to use your body language effectively. You can tell if someone is compassionate in a matter of seconds, but you need to turn the mirror onto yourself and see if you convey compassionate body language. There are courses that can help you, such as the Stanford Compassion Training course, but the very simple things you can do to make yourself more compassionate in your body language boils down to three simple things.

  • Turning towards the speaker. We make the cardinal sin of purely turning our head to face someone; when we are supposed to be listening and exuding compassion, we need to position our entire body to face the person talking to us.

  • Using open body language. Address how you are sitting right now. Are you sitting with your arms and legs crossed? Do you have a distraction in your hands, such as your cell phone? Open body language is an excellent way to show someone that you are listening to them, which means that they will have that unconscious signal that you care. 

  • Using approach signals. Approach signals mean not leaning back from the person who is talking to you. When you are aware of the signals you give out that link with your instinct to withdraw or avoid, this boils right down to your subtle levels of body language. You may not think you are giving off these signals, but it's about being aware all the way down to your very minute body language signals.

When you become aware of your body language, you can slowly start to make the shift to giving these little signals to get the person that will reassure them. If you feel high levels of compassion for someone, you will shift into these postures. But if you really are trying to make a concerted effort to make yourself more caring, you can fake it till you make it. Assuming these positions will make it easier for you to form a connection with someone. 

Additionally, you must remember the importance of your connecting gestures, such as facial expressions, smiling, head nodding, as well as your eye contact. When you are listening to someone, you need to maintain eye contact, but without gazing deeply into their eyes or staring them down. Think about a soft focus on the triangle that is created by the person's eyes and mouth, as this allows you to take in the person's full facial expressions.

Taking the First Step
Something that we all may feel somewhat reticent in doing, but taking the first step, whether it's something as simple as filling someone's glass of water, or getting the cutlery out to lay the table, the little things are all about the initiative, but it shows that you are caring about the grand scheme of things. We live in an age where we can almost feel that we shouldn't step too far forward into someone's metaphorical sphere because we worry we are overstepping the mark. But it's these simple things that can highlight to others that we care about their needs. 

At the same time, taking the first step becomes an automatic behavior. Some people like to take the initiative, but it's about making sure that you are doing it in the right way. If you try to take charge of something, this can imply that you are somewhat domineering. But when you are someone who is not necessarily used to this, or you feel that you need to step back from a situation, it is a very welcome behavior because you are contributing more to the situation.

Learning to Give Without Expecting Anything 
If we live a life where we are surrounded by people who constantly expect things from others, we shouldn't berate ourselves when we get into that frame of mind as well. Once we've recognized that we start to become passive-aggressive, or we give things to others and expect something in return, no matter how little it is, we have to remember that when we give to others, we should do it with clear intentions. We give because we want to help others. 

These days, one of the best methods to help people without giving anything back is about the situation that impacts all our lives. When we see people constantly breaking the rules with regards to keeping their distance, not wearing masks, and so forth, we can think that we shouldn't bother either because nobody else cares. But the reason we wear a mask is to protect others. This is such a simple thing, but no matter how selfish everybody else is out there, this is the crux of giving some sort of help to others without expecting anything in return. It's very easy to become frustrated with everyone when we are doing our best but nobody's pulling their weight. But we have to remember that if we are doing our bit, this is all that matters. When you start to give to others, give because you want to help. 

It's so easy to give to others and expect something in return. Rather than expecting them to do a favor for you, be forthright in your intentions. Give something to someone who you will never expect to see again. This is that idea of paying it forward. But this is going to be a way to throw out some good into the world. We can easily think that we're not going to reap the benefits of it, but that is not the point. Much like medical professionals who do the job to save lives, they don't expect people to come back into the hospital with praise, flowers, cards, and chocolates. Because it's what nurses and doctors do!

It’s Not About You
To be the most caring person you can be, you've got to have a sense of compassion that acts more than talks. If you know someone that needs help, you can find out what you need to do to help them, or if there is nothing you can do, you could connect them with others who can help. It's about those small acts that make a big difference. And if you want to be the most caring person you can be, stop thinking about it being to do with you.

Annotation 2019-12-13 115948.png