Hi lovelies,
One of the hallmark elements of self-care is knowing that you’re enough. That might sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people can struggle with this, and not for entirely irrational reasons. After all, as we grow into adulthood we begin learning how to take on the world for ourselves, and start to view ourselves as the authority instead of our parents.
That can be a hard transition to make, and that’s why many people fall into caring for what others think of them. Of course, deferring to people who might know more or be more experienced than you can be wise, but only if that doesn’t rob you of your self-regard.
As such, learning to stand up for yourself from time to time is not only smart, it’s one of the most reliable skills you can learn. That’s not to say you have to be brittle, to take everything with offense, or to see social environments as a constant battleground. It does mean, however, that having a spine and a backbone can help you with positive self-regard, and also ensure you gain what you’re entitled to.
Let’s consider how you can achieve this, especially if you’ve struggled in the past:
Learn How To Say “No”
Saying “yes” is easy, especially for people interested in making a good impression. You might agree to overtime, to give your seat up on the train, or to a favor for a friend, all good and productive decisions. Yet if you don’t want to do something, feel forced into it, or feel it’s too much to ask of you, learning to say “no” can be a superpower.
Be polite, but firm, and don’t think you have to justify yourself outside of a simple response. This doesn’t make you difficult, it means you know your boundaries. If people know you’re happy to do this, they tend to respect you more easily, as you will yourself.
Self-Respect Doesn’t Have To Be Qualified
Those who often fail to stand up for themselves often fail to do so because they fail to see the reason behind it, or at least, they don’t think they’re good enough to do so. This might not be articulated, but more of a subconscious attitude. However, you should remember that actually, you don’t have to pass a test, be of use, or offer something new and cool to deserve basic respect and dignity. You should have that automatically.
Even if someone IS objectively more successful, capable, athletic, or accomplished than you, that doesn’t mean you deserve to be spoken down to, pushed around, or mocked by them. Knowing that can help you avoid seeking approval for who you are, and give that to yourself anyway, knowing that there’s a fine line between self-assuredness and arrogance. If you can strike that line, then it’s good to stand up for yourself well.
Know What Boundaries You’re Operating In
Of course, standing up for yourself is easier when you know you’re in the right. Pouring over your work contract will help you know where your employer might have broken your terms, or put you in harm’s way despite promising safety precautions. This might even help you seek slip and fall accident attorneys to help you in this situation, gaining the compensation you deserve thanks to your injury.
With this advice, you’re sure to get better at standing up for yourself over time.
