✨ How would it feel to fall madly in love with yourself? ✨

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch

✨ WELCOME TO SELF-CONFIDENCE MADE SIMPLE ✨

This guide explores the true secret to self-confidence that no one's talking about. Get the blueprint to self-belief.

The American Psychological Association defines self-confidence as 'a belief that one is capable of successfully meeting the demands of a task.'

But what if there’s something missing from that definition that is the key to unlocking unshakeable self-confidence?

I'm Candy Washington, a wellness entrepreneur with B.A. in Philosophy from Georgetown University who's here to give you that key.

I host a popular self-care podcast on iHeartRadio, have written numerous books on self-development, have produced a thought-provoking film on the effects of social media on mental well-being, and now offer life-changing Manifestation and Self-Love courses.

Let's explore three of the most powerful mindset shifts to build self-confidence.

Enjoy this easy-to-follow guide until the end because the last mindset is one that no one is talking about!

Insight #1: Comparison + Perfectionism Kill Confidence

In order to cultivate self-confidence, we must first know what hinders it.

The two biggest threats to confidence are comparing yourself to others and perfectionism. This is true because each of these are fantasies that don’t actually exist.

If self-confidence is 'a belief that one is capable of successfully meeting the demands of a task,' then how can you ever be confident if the standard of success is ‘perfection’ and the validation of others?

These negative mindsets also keep you stuck in fear - the fear of 'not being good enough.'

If you believe that you have to 'be perfect,' 'do things perfectly,' or 'keep up with The Joneses,' then your self-confidence will always be conditional, negotiable, and out of your control.

Nothing is ever ‘perfect,’ and no two people are the same, so basing your self-confidence on delusions will keep you from ever reaching your true potential as a unique and perfectly imperfect human being.

It’s time to let go of the false belief that to be confident you have to be perfect or fit into a box.

Use the action item below to start shifting into a more self-confident mindset.

Affirmations for Self-Confidence:
Write down these affirmations in your journal and repeat them when you need a confidence boost. 

Feel free to make them your own and add new ones. 

“I am uniquely me and that is enough.”
“I believe in myself and my abilities.”
“I am worthy of success on my own terms.”
“Every day my confidence grows and grows.” 
“I am confident and value myself.”
“I am growing and learning every day.”
“I believe in myself and my skills.”
“I have the power to change the world.”
“I can do anything I set my mind to.”
“I am confident in my abilities.”
“I grow with every challenge.”
“I am consistent in my hard work.”

Insight #2: Mindfulness Strengthens Confidence

Whenever you’re faced with a task or taking a risk that requires confidence, take back control through mindfulness.

Real-life examples of tasks and risks could be asking for a raise at work, going on a date, wearing a bikini, going outside without wearing make-up, starting a business, applying for a job, moving to a new town, making new friends, starting a hobby, telling people ‘no,’ and so on.

Now, before taking action or overthinking it, take out your journal and consciously make the decision on how you’re going to redefine what 'doing this task successfully' means to you.

For example, if your task is 'going on a date' on one side of the paper, write down your default definition of what a 'successful date' is. This could be that you have to meet your soulmate, get engaged, and start planning your wedding. Obviously, cross this section out!

Next, consciously choose your definition of what a 'successful date' is.

On another sheet of paper, write down, 'I choose what a successful date means to me…' and then, through mindfulness, choose your new definition.

Your new definition of a successful date could include doing your hair and make-up, wearing an outfit that you feel hot in, having an open mind, not bringing up your ex, being vulnerable, and actively listening to your date.

Doesn’t taking the pressure off of what 'successful' means just feel lighter and easier? And with that lightness and ease comes self-confidence in knowing that you have the power to be successful on your own terms.

Enjoy the action item below to strengthen your self-confidence.

Celebrate Success (Big and Small)
Whenever you successfully embark on a task or take a risk - celebrate yourself! 

This could be taking a bubble bath, eating your favorite meal, writing yourself a gratitude letter, or whatever brings you joy.

Don’t forget to celebrate the wins, both big and small!

Insight #3: Resiliency and self-compassion solidify confidence

In its simplest form, confidence is the feeling of trust in something.

Therefore, self-confidence, in its simplest form, is the feeling of trust in yourself. This is where a resilient and self-compassionate mindset comes in.

Self-compassion is the ability to be kind, gentle, and understanding with yourself when difficulties, mistakes, and perceived failures arise. It is the opposite of being self-critical, judgemental, and harsh towards yourself when things don’t work out perfectly.

Being self-compassionate creates resilience because you know that no matter what happens, whether the task or risk is successful or not, you can take care of yourself, and this setback or failure won’t break you.

Self-compassion is the key to becoming a self-confident person versus someone who feels inadequate because, through mindfulness, you know that YOU define success; success does not define you.

Therefore, you have the power to change what success is. Sometimes success is just choosing to know that 'this too shall pass.'

And more importantly, through self-compassion, you know that your intrinsic value and self-worth are non-negotiable and do not change based on successes and failures.

Take out your journal and write down three times that you took a risk that required you to be confident, and it didn’t work out.

Now after each experience, complete the sentence, 'The wisdom I gained from this experience was…' Then complete the sentence, 'One unexpected positive thing that came out of this experience was…'

Finally, after each experience on your list, write the affirmations, 'I am now more confident in myself. I will apply my new wisdom to my next task. I know that everything is always working out for me.'

Now you have a simple blueprint for self-confidence.

You are free of having to be 'perfect' or validated by others. You have the power to define what success means to you, you’re able to be self-compassionate during difficult times, and you possess resiliency through your newfound wisdom.

IN ESSENCE
Self-confidence is an inside job.

True self-confidence is knowing that you can meet the demand of taking care of yourself, and betting on yourself is the safest risk that you can take.

BONUS INSIGHTS:
Confidence vs Arrogance 
There is sometimes a fine line between confidence and arrogance. As we saw in our confidence definition, being confident is about having belief and trust in your abilities and knowledge. Arrogance, on the other hand, is when someone believes that their abilities or knowledge make them better than others in some way. 

Confidence is about positively expressing your abilities to succeed in (self-efficacy) or influence (locus of control) specific situations. Arrogance is about boasting to others about your ability to do so. 

Confidence vs Self-Esteem
These two terms certainly overlap, but there are differences between them. As we explored in our post on improving self-esteem, this concept relates to our perception of ourselves. Do we like the person we are? What do we think about our own strengths and weaknesses? Can we recognize our mistakes, and are we able to forgive ourselves for those mistakes?

Self-confidence is more about our belief in ourselves and our abilities. As we’ve seen, this can come from our direct or observed experiences, as well as a belief in our own hard work. A person can have faith in their abilities (confidence) but not like the overall person they are (self-esteem). 

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My courses are based on my own personal experiences, insights, and additional research. It should supplement your self-care journey and not be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional.

TERMS & CONDITIONS

By purchasing a course, you understand that all sales are final since this is a digital product. You are responsible for the total purchase amount including all payments as there are no refunds. Please email assistant@candywashington.com with all questions or if you need help.