I hope you enjoy my little story on why Tinder is the sample sale of online dating. It was previously published in The Skirt Collective, you can read it here.
It’s a Thursday night and my roomie and I are engaging in one of our of favorite past-times: white wine, Scandal, and trolling for possible suitors on Tinder. My roomie throws her phone at me and squeals, “You have to check this guy out! Should I swipe right?”
I happily sip my wine and then check out her latest possible match on the dating app. “Ew, all of his photos are group shots and mirror selfies? Automatic swipe left.” I chuckle and toss her phone back to her.
Apparently there are hundreds of eligible bachelors out there just waiting to make a quick-and-easy connection with a single gal in the city like myself. But finding that diamond in the rough might just be harder than finding this season’s latest “it” bag during a sample sale.
After all, I know what I’m getting myself into when I go to a sample sale – low commitment, designers looks at a discount, and a need to up my patience factor as I shift through racks and barrels of clothes while fighting off other fashion-hungry women looking to make a quick score. My experience during a sample sale is eerily similar to that of trying to find a date on Tinder. The majority of the guys aren’t looking for a long-term girlfriend, so the commitment factor is pretty low.
Drinks? Sure. But dinner?! That’s pretty much unheard theses days on the dating scene and I can’t stand it when they want to go dutch. I’m a feminist and all, but I still like to be treated like a lady.
Swiping through the photos of guys, one after the other, until they start to become a blur (or maybe that’s just the wine working its magic) is like when I’m swiping through the racks at the sale – so much to choose from, so little time.
But like the clothes at the sample sale which range from being a bit off size-wise, last season’s looks, and overstock, the guys on Tinder are pretty much the same. At first glance they seem pretty cute but once you swipe through the rest of their photos and read their bios, you quickly realize that they are a bit off and are all trying to be Ryan Gosling knock-offs.
Now for the competition factor. People have been known to elbow, scratch, and claw their way through a sample sale just to get that diamond in the rough purchase. The same goes for the other girls on Tinder posting bikini and boob shots. No judgment here – if you’ve got it, flaunt it. But how can my pics in an oversized faux fur vest, vintage tee, and harem pants compete with wannabe Victoria’s Secret models?
Let’s not forget about the long lines at the sample sales where you can watch an entire episode of Girls on your iPad and still not be at the front of the line. The same goes for Tinder. You spend hours texting with a potential suitor, albeit a fun way to pass the time, but just like waiting in line while catching up on Hannah’s antics, it hasn’t really gotten you anywhere.
So what’s a single fashionista to do? Do we risk an elbow to the eye for a slightly off Marc Jacobs Classic Q Natasha Mini Crossbody? Do we agree to late night drinks with the guy we’ve been tipsy texting whose main photo is him in the mirror at the gym, and he sort of has crazy eyes?
Well, for me, it’s always worth it for the Marc Jacobs bag. I’m pretty scrappy when it comes to battling it out for a clutch, but as far as actually meeting up with Ted S., I’m far too comfy in my PJ’s. Oh well, back to giggling with my roomie over Paul T.’s latest selfie of himself wrestling with his puppy (while topless of course) and then to refill my glass of Pinot Grigio, all from the comfort of my couch.
So let me know, who are you swiping right on Tinder? What’s the latest sample sale that you’ve conquered?