As Soul Asylum so eloquently sang back in the 90's, "I'm waiting by the phone, waiting for you to call me up and tell me I'm not alone." Thus is the life of an actor after rocking an audition. Last week I auditioned for a feature length independent film, and I know I can kill this role and the audition went very well. So like most actors, I sat anxiously awaiting for that elusive call-back, or the even more elusive, call to say you got the part. If I were a nail-biter, I'd be biting them.

It's a lot like dating. You go on an awesome first date, gaze into each other eyes over a candlelit dinner, laugh over your common love of spy movies, and sip on Pinot Grigio into the wee hours of the night. And you just know that he will call you again for that second date. But then, radio silence. Why you ask yourself? Just like how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie roll pop: the world may never know.

But, as an empowered actress, what I do know, is that I control how prepared I was for the audition - did I do my inner work, did I make bold and authentic choices, did I surprise myself in the room, and was I focused and turned any nervous energy into creative energy. Beyond that, i.e., whether or not I get the role, is out my hands, much like if that seemingly Prince Charming ever calls back.

Maybe they changed the character to a red-head, or they need someone taller, or I reminded someone of their ex, or now the role is re-written for a male.

Who knows?

But what I do know is that starring at a phone, waiting for it to ring, is fruitless. So instead of waiting, I got active. I signed up for an acting seminar with a top agency that I am dying to work with, signed up for webinars on how to best market myself, and I signed up for an event on creating your own lucrative personal brand. Did I mention I'm prepping for two more auditions to be put on tape and sent to LA? I'm also going to my friend's place tonight to watch the SU game and I really enjoyed making a lovely scallop, mushroom, and organic vegetable dinner and watching some of my favorite shows and just relaxing.

So whether or not the phone is ringing, I'm too busy having fun, enjoying life, and doing things to cultivate my career to notice.

The moral of the story?


A watched pot never boils. Get up and get activate. You never know the roles you will or won't get, but if you get paralyzed waiting for the phone to ring you are guaranteed not to get any. Stay focused, stay active, remember to have fun, and before you know it, the phone will be ringing off the hook.

Click here for next entry: Diary of an actress #3: Self-taping an audition - the highs and lows

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